THE Week

Part I

Prep

"The Week" began with a train trip to NY for a hair appointment and dinner with my daughter. It was my first solo trip in forever- no, ever! I carried only a backpack, rode the train from Lancaster to Penn Station, ordered a Lyft to the salon, then another Lyft to meet my daughter for al fresco dinner. I did quite well with a little help when I needed it. I'm getting stronger, so next time will be easier. New Yorkers have a reputation for being rude, but they're just abrupt, especially if you break sidewalk etiquette. Otherwise, there's a good chance someone will help you out, even if you don't ask.

    

On the trip back, I entertained myself by taking pictures from the train: wastelands of weeds, litter, and decay. Abandoned structures, walls, train cars, or any flat surface is the canvas for the night artist, who leaves their signature in colorful, bold, often intricate tags. The more difficult the location, the better.

 

Amy, dear dear Amy

Part II

The Concert, Brittany Howard and Alabama Shakes

It was Labor Day weekend so traffic delayed us. We arrived at our VRBO rental with enough time to unpack, clean up, change and drive to Bethel Woods (10 minutes).  As VIPs, we had preferred parking and a shuttle to our entrance to avoid the crowds. Once seated, we were in Section 1, 7th row, right in front of the stage. 

Forward

 I have always looked forward to the next big thing. When I was about 11, our family moved to another state. I vaguely remember the moving truck, saying goodbye to my friends and driving to our new home. I wasn’t sad and fully accepted this major shift, new community, new friends.

I accepted being the new kid in Junior HS wearing socks. I rebelled mightily.

I accepted the major change of entering college and living on my own for the first time. I remember attending my 1st frat party on Kiester Road, drinking my first beer ever.

My outlook throughout life. I’ve taken changes in stride, usually seeing the positive side of things. An example: I quit smoking in 2015 when I was hospitalized. I told my family to dispose of any cigarettes and ashtrays before I came home. Unable to drive, I accepted that cigarettes were no longer available and have been smoke free ever since, over 10 years.

I (almost) always accepted major changes in my life because I prefer to see the future, the next big thing.

Most of my life is behind me now. I daydream about people, places I’ve been, things I’ve learned. Music has always been a constant, my sanctuary, and I can laugh out loud or cry in private. Even though I look back over the years with pride, I have never been fully at peace. I exposed my private thoughts in the most important letter I’ve ever written, and it lifted some of that burden.

So what does this have to do with simple pleasures? Sitting on my porch listening to the birds, the awe of each season as nature unfurls its brilliant colors, the local farmer’s markets with their fresh local produce, fall markets of pumpkins, gourds and chrysanthemums of every shade.

I love putting up for winter, canning or drying food for the long winter months.

In the spring I love seeing the crocuses bloom through the snow in early spring, clusters of daffodils and trees blooming with brilliant blossoms. I miss taking my camera to capture their brilliance, but every season I vow to do better.

I welcome the simple pleasures of greeting every upcoming season. Blossoming new life, summer flora, and fall abundant harvest to preserve through the winter months.

Seasons I love…

A Weddin'

I've been to California.

The nuptials (OH fancy!) of my daughter, Carla Jablonski, and Arthur Lazalde took place on June 13, 2026 at the Victorian Gardens of Two Sisters in Central Valley CA, officiated by Wade Watson, a dear friend who was ordained for the occasion, pink suit and all.

Why Wade? with absolute faith in Carla's abilities, we made a Leap Of Faith and moved to NY in early 2002 to provide her with opportunities only the city could offer. Wade and his wife Laura were neighbors in our apartment building downtown, and Carla, then 15, offered to babysit their 2 toddlers. That was the beginning of a very special friendship. 

Now that she was a resident of NYC, she could audition for specialized high schools.  LaGuardia High School of Music and Art (the Fame school from the 1980 movie) accepted her as a drama student just days before classes started.

She continued as nanny to the children, Christina and Damon, who followed in her footsteps and became musicians as well. Wade and Laura were her second parents, always encouraging and supportive. She went on to Manhattan School of Music and The Juilliard School, and to this day,  they are always there to cheer her on.

Carla met Arthur at a karaoke bar shortly before the Pandemic shut down the city of NY and the Metropolitan Opera where they both worked, she as a singer, he as an a actor. They had never interacted until their first date at a karaoke bar in early 2020. Days later, they packed up and drove to a friend's cabin to isolate on the coast of Maine. Before they left, Carla confided in me, "I think he's ok..."

They bided their time creating memories...

                                        clapping...

                               

                              singing...

And fell in love. They returned to the city a few months later, bonded by the experience and began dating in earnest. 

They found time to travel across the country to meet families: Shel and I in TX, Arthur's family in Idaho. They traveled cautiously, masking, isolating and distancing, but Carla was exposed to Covid when she returned to the city, even though she was isolating. She lost her sense of taste and smell and quite sick. I couldn't go to her, but her doctor called every day, and her friends brought anything she needed, leaving it at her door. Her phone was her lifeline. Even though I couldn't be there, I knew she would get by "with a little help from her friends". When you're friends with Carla, it's for life.

Our Story

First comes a pandemic, then comes marriage

Once upon a time, an opera singer and an actor performed on the same Metropolitan Opera stage (literally crossing paths) but had never met ..until.. They swiped right. March 10, 2020. Our First date: Cornerstone Karaoke. NYC. We had no idea what was coming. Most couples ease their way toward living together. We did it in reverse. Only days after meeting, we grabbed masks and sanitation wipes from a friend, loaded the car, and headed North before the city shut down. A tiny cabin on the coast of Maine became our first home. We cooked — her family dishes, his family dishes, whatever we could dream up. We sang and danced and clowned around to ease our worries and comfort each other in the midst of great uncertainty. In doing so, we learned how to be a team. In a time of great darkness, we found light and hope in each other. We were very lucky. Ladybug luck refers to the widespread belief that ladybugs are symbols of good fortune, happiness, and love. The cabin was full of them and on the first evening one had landed on Arthur so, naturally, he made a wish. Inspired by our tiny roommates, we made a short film called Ladybug. In the final scene, she walks into the ocean and is spit back out. That felt true: when the world closed, we made a smaller one that opened - a world in which we are stronger together. We found a creed that still fits: “Nothing’s going to be OK, but together we’re going to be OK.” Not cynicism - steadiness - together. For 3 months, we embraced the simplicity of our cabin life; when the city reopened, we brought our bubble back to the world—meeting each other’s friends, families, and places. Honeymoon first, dating later. Living in reverse revealed that we could depend on each other and find steadiness no matter what life threw at us. Our first year together was full of life's surprises. With all the beautiful and good came equally hard times: a car fire in Spring 2021, a health scare and diagnosis that Fall, and the loss of Carla's parent Shelly soon after. Yet even with each misfortune, we found great fortune, trust in our creed and undeniable support from our loved ones who lifted us up throughout. Again and again, someone—friend, stranger, fate—showed up right on time to remind us that we were going to be OK and we've believed and trusted in it ever since. With such abundant love we would be more than ok. The rest grew naturally and our love spawned effortlessly. We remained curious, open and kept making memories—some on stages, some in kitchens, some on epic drives under big skies. We fed people often - Carla loves to host a dinner party! We learned patience on long days, humor on short ones, and how to keep choosing each other in the in-between. Our lives were as rich as our love and the love around us. For his 40th birthday, Carla threw Arthur a surprise Roast & Toast Cabaret surrounded by family and friends. And in true Arthur fashion and flair, he reversed the surprise and proposed with the ring he was already wearing—a little theater band with the comedy and tragedy masks. A year later, on her birthday Carla felt it only appropriate to return the proposal. Two performers, one duet, and with equal hearts - one vow: We choose each other—and then we choose again. Now we’re making official what we’ve practiced since Maine. We found a garden with California light, asked our friend Wade to stand with us, and our friends and our family to surround us. We have planned a night-before cabaret—roasts, toasts, songs and celebration, and a little room for luck. June 13, 2026. If you’re reading this, you’re already part of it and helped us grow as one—the couches, the calls, the meals, the countless laughter and so much love. Bring your blessing; we’ll bring the feast. And if a ladybug lands on you that night, make the wish. We’ve learned those little signals know exactly where they’re going.

Arthur and I had a running joke about (awful) crochet shorts, so I made him a pair. He is also a Peanuts fan, so I made and gifted him a Snoopy amigurumi. 

Enough backstory. On to the main event:

Carla drove to Lancaster,  and together we returned to NY on Thursday June 4 2026. That evening I had a PRIMO seat to see her in Turandot at the Metropolitan Opera (she saw me in the audience, and I wiggled my fingers at her - DISCRETELY!). I had seen her perform many times before, but never  on the Met stage. I've seen other operas at the Met which are always outstanding, but this was by far the most elaborate production I have ever seen. 

Haircut and color on Friday, flew out Saturday morning to Fresno CA with her Maid of Honor, Heather, exactly one week before the wedding. 

I neared my destination and was overwhelmed by the vastness of Central Valley from the air. The local who had the window seat switched with me so I could view the landscape. This is the agricultural heart of California, producing more than half the fruits, vegetables, and nuts grown in the United States in more than 7,000,000 acres. It was like flying over a patchwork quilt as far as the eye can see. 

Although I didn't  make it to the coast, I did visit Sequoia National Forest and had no idea the giant trees were at the top of a mountain! I was so impressed that I decided I want to be a tree In Perpetua: tranquil, peaceful, lots of friends and neighbors, visits by occasional hikers and tourists and maybe lovers who carve their initials on me with a heart and arrow.

On Thursday, I hosted the first event of the wedding weekend with a meet-and-greet dinner of the soon-to-be merged families at Crawdaddy's in Visalia. Arthur's family is great fun, and we bonded over great food and drinks. Even though we live far apart, we are now part of an expanded family, and I'm looking forward to seeing them again. As we left, a band downstairs was playing Cajun music, and in a spontaneous moment, a complete stranger pulled me onto the dance floor to dance. It was electric.

The Welcome Cabaret was held Friday evening, starting with Paella served by chef Watson at his home in Visalia CA. As guests arrived, they received a gift basket which included towels, personal items and citrus spa soaps I made for the occasion.  

Guests were treated to a red carpet, tickets and bar serving unique cocktails and were entertained with music, speeches, dialogues and performances poolside. Many of Carla's friends are performers, so it was quite an entertaining evening and great way to start off the weekend celebration. 

And they took the plunge!

Saturday morning was hair and make-up, no sleeping in! When I was done, my hair was immovable with product overload to insure hairs wouldn't fall out during that day...or ever..

At the Victorian Gardens of Two Sisters, harp and dulcimer music greeted guests as they came in, speeches, dialogues...Music...of course, beautiful music. 

Perfect ceremony, much tradition, but not all. Something old (continuity), something new (bright future), something borrowed (borrowed happiness), something blue (fidelity), wedding dress shopping, exchanging rings melded from relatives' keepsakes. Her grandparents were there in spirit as I wore a vintage gold locket containing their pictures. 

Hand fasting, with roots in ancient Celtic, Norse and Pagan cultures, "tying the knot"

There was no cake (smashing), no throwing the bouquet (it was gifted to me to preserve), no blue garter, no drunken speeches, no candy table (Polish tradition). The reception was held in a garden setting with cocktails served in vintage teacups. 

and a pickle juice fountain, tribute to her pickle-loving sister Nina

                                       

Their wedding dance was as non-traditional as it gets. 

and perfect...

After the reception, we hosted an after-party at a neighbor's house til the wee hours. I was too busy celebrating, so no pictures, sorry. 

Sunday was Recovery Day poolside at Wade and Laura's place.

  

   Pacific coast. Next time...

>

Guidance

In a few weeks, my younger daughter is getting married, and I will be walking with her as she greets her future with Arthur.  

I've been asked to give a welcome speech and toast. It will be brief. I'll share a memory or 2 of her growing up, welcome a son into the fold, thank the stars for bringing them together and everyone who came to celebrate. I will also say that the universal advice given to newlyweds, "never go to sleep angry", is total BS. What? Up all night? Foolish! Of course you'll have angry nights, but you'll likely have a fresh perspective in the morning after a good night's sleep. And at least you can go to work well rested.

As hard as it will be without emotion, I will also beseach them not to make any crucial decisions impulsively. Ponder it, sleep on it, try to imagine the long term effects,and you'll come to the right conclusion. It's too late for me, I've never to recovered, but  Carla and Arthur have made the right decision to guide their life. I wish them a lifetime of happiness and fun and don't want them to screw it up.

 It has been a long road for her, full of stops and starts, but I told her love can appear spontaneously. Their story is unusual. They met at the beginning of the 2020 Pandemic, isolating together in a small cabin on the coast of Maine, and when they eventually returned to the city, I assumed they would go their separate ways. But no, they began dating, reversing norms while finding each other. 

Their story is perfectly retold on their wedding site.

Our Story

First comes a pandemic, then comes marriage

Once upon a time, an opera singer and an actor performed on the same Metropolitan Opera stage (literally crossing paths) but had never met ..until.. They swiped right. March 10, 2020. Our First date: Cornerstone Karaoke. NYC. We had no idea what was coming. Most couples ease their way toward living together. We did it in reverse. Only days after meeting, we grabbed masks and sanitation wipes from a friend, loaded the car, and headed North before the city shut down. A tiny cabin on the coast of Maine became our first home. We cooked — her family dishes, his family dishes, whatever we could dream up. We sang and danced and clowned around to ease our worries and comfort each other in the midst of great uncertainty. In doing so, we learned how to be a team. In a time of great darkness, we found light and hope in each other. We were very lucky. Ladybug luck refers to the widespread belief that ladybugs are symbols of good fortune, happiness, and love. The cabin was full of them and on the first evening one had landed on Arthur so, naturally, he made a wish. Inspired by our tiny roommates, we made a short film called Ladybug. In the final scene, she walks into the ocean and is spit back out. That felt true: when the world closed, we made a smaller one that opened - a world in which we are stronger together. We found a creed that still fits: “Nothing’s going to be OK, but together we’re going to be OK.” Not cynicism - steadiness - together. For 3 months, we embraced the simplicity of our cabin life; when the city reopened, we brought our bubble back to the world—meeting each other’s friends, families, and places. Honeymoon first, dating later. Living in reverse revealed that we could depend on each other and find steadiness no matter what life threw at us. Our first year together was full of life's surprises. With all the beautiful and good came equally hard times: a car fire in Spring 2021, a health scare and diagnosis that Fall, and the loss of Carla's parent Shelly soon after. Yet even with each misfortune, we found great fortune, trust in our creed and undeniable support from our loved ones who lifted us up throughout. Again and again, someone—friend, stranger, fate—showed up right on time to remind us that we were going to be OK, and we've believed and trusted in it ever since. With such abundant love we would be more than ok. The rest grew naturally and our love spawned effortlessly. We remained curious, open and kept making memories—some on stages, some in kitchens, some on epic drives under big skies. We fed people often - Carla loves to host a dinner party! We learned patience on long days, humor on short ones, and how to keep choosing each other in the in-between. Our lives were as rich as our love and the love around us. For his 40th birthday, Carla threw Arthur a surprise Roast & Toast Cabaret surrounded by family and friends. And in true Arthur fashion and flair, he reversed the surprise and proposed with the ring he was already wearing—a little theater band with the comedy and tragedy masks. A year later, on her birthday Carla felt it only appropriate to return the proposal. Two performers, one duet, and with equal hearts - one vow: We choose each other—and then we choose again. Now we’re making official what we’ve practiced since Maine. We found a garden with California light, asked our friend Wade to stand with us, and our friends and our family to surround us. We have planned a night-before cabaret—roasts, toasts, songs and celebration, and a little room for luck. June 13, 2026.

Once Upon A Forest

 

Purge

 I was browsing for photos for another blog post, as well as pictures of my daughter for a wedding collage but was easily distracted by photos of purges over the years to travel, move, simplify. Every time, I asked myself if either child would want this and if the answer was NO, out the door it went - sold, donated or trashed. I hope I've made their life simpler after my passing, leaving only cherished belongings or items easily disposed of. 

This is a random collection of past purges and remembrance of the excesses that once defined me. There are times when, yes, I wish I had certain things, especially books, but the really important stuff, photos, my parents' woodworking items, handmade quilts, children's toys and clothes, are still with me or in storage. 

I remember with fondness as I look over these pictures...some items remind me of a place, event, a time in my life.

What a jumble of possessions. Everyone has them. 

                                                         I'll never skate again.

          

  

I live simply now, but I have a weakness for kitchen toys. Another time!

                                                          It's beyond freeing to let go...