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Thursday, July 09, 2026

A Weddin'




I've been to California.


The nuptials (fancy!) of my daughter, Carla Jablonski, and Arthur Lazalde took place on June 13, 2026 at the Victorian Gardens of Two Sisters in Central Valley CA, officiated by Wade Watson, a dear friend who was ordained for the occasion, pink suit and all.


Why Wade? Backstory: With absolute faith in Carla's abilities, we made a Leap Of Faith and moved to NY in early 2002 to provide her with opportunities only the city could offer. Wade and his wife Laura were neighbors in our apartment building downtown, and Carla, then 15, offered to babysit their 2 toddlers. That was the beginning of a very special friendship. 

Now that she was a resident of NYC, she could audition for specialized high schools.  LaGuardia High School of Music and Art (the Fame school from the 1980 movie) accepted her as a drama student just days before classes started.

She continued as nanny to the children, Christina and Damon, who followed in her footsteps and became musicians as well. Wade and Laura were her second parents, always encouraging and supportive. She went on to Manhattan School of Music and The Juilliard School, and to this day,  they are always there to cheer her on.

Years later, Carla met Arthur at a karaoke bar shortly before the Pandemic shut down the city of NY and the Metropolitan Opera where they both worked, she as a singer, he as an a actor, but they never interacted until their first date at a karaoke bar in early 2020. Days later, they packed up and drove to a friend's cabin to isolate on the coast of Maine. Before they left, Carla confided in me, "I think he's ok..."


They bided their time creating memories...

                                        clapping...

                               

                              singing...


And fell in love. They returned to the city a few months later, bonded by the experience and began dating in earnest. 

They found time to travel across the country to meet families: Shel and I in TX, Arthur's family in Idaho. They traveled cautiously, masking, isolating and distancing, but Carla was exposed to Covid when she returned to the city, even though she was isolating. She lost her sense of taste and smell and was quite sick. I couldn't go to her, but her doctor called every day, and her friends brought food and anything she needed and left it at her door. Her phone was her lifeline. Her friends always support each other in good times or bad, and they know they have a special place in her heart. Even though I couldn't be there, I knew she would get by "with a little help from her friends". When you're friends with Carla, it's for life.

Their story:


Our Story

First comes a pandemic, then comes marriage

Once upon a time, an opera singer and an actor performed on the same Metropolitan Opera stage (literally crossing paths) but had never met ..until.. They swiped right. March 10, 2020. Our First date: Cornerstone Karaoke. NYC. We had no idea what was coming. Most couples ease their way toward living together. We did it in reverse. Only days after meeting, we grabbed masks and sanitation wipes from a friend, loaded the car, and headed North before the city shut down. A tiny cabin on the coast of Maine became our first home. We cooked — her family dishes, his family dishes, whatever we could dream up. We sang and danced and clowned around to ease our worries and comfort each other in the midst of great uncertainty. In doing so, we learned how to be a team. In a time of great darkness, we found light and hope in each other. We were very lucky. Ladybug luck refers to the widespread belief that ladybugs are symbols of good fortune, happiness, and love. The cabin was full of them and on the first evening one had landed on Arthur so, naturally, he made a wish. Inspired by our tiny roommates, we made a short film called Ladybug. In the final scene, she walks into the ocean and is spit back out. That felt true: when the world closed, we made a smaller one that opened - a world in which we are stronger together. We found a creed that still fits: “Nothing’s going to be OK, but together we’re going to be OK.” Not cynicism - steadiness - together. For 3 months, we embraced the simplicity of our cabin life; when the city reopened, we brought our bubble back to the world—meeting each other’s friends, families, and places. Honeymoon first, dating later. Living in reverse revealed that we could depend on each other and find steadiness no matter what life threw at us. Our first year together was full of life's surprises. With all the beautiful and good came equally hard times: a car fire in Spring 2021, a health scare and diagnosis that Fall, and the loss of Carla's parent Shelly soon after. Yet even with each misfortune, we found great fortune, trust in our creed and undeniable support from our loved ones who lifted us up throughout. Again and again, someone—friend, stranger, fate—showed up right on time to remind us that we were going to be OK and we've believed and trusted in it ever since. With such abundant love we would be more than ok. The rest grew naturally and our love spawned effortlessly. We remained curious, open and kept making memories—some on stages, some in kitchens, some on epic drives under big skies. We fed people often - Carla loves to host a dinner party! We learned patience on long days, humor on short ones, and how to keep choosing each other in the in-between. Our lives were as rich as our love and the love around us. For his 40th birthday, Carla threw Arthur a surprise Roast & Toast Cabaret surrounded by family and friends. And in true Arthur fashion and flair, he reversed the surprise and proposed with the ring he was already wearing—a little theater band with the comedy and tragedy masks. A year later, on her birthday Carla felt it only appropriate to return the proposal. Two performers, one duet, and with equal hearts - one vow: We choose each other—and then we choose again. Now we’re making official what we’ve practiced since Maine. We found a garden with California light, asked our friend Wade to stand with us, and our friends and our family to surround us. We have planned a night-before cabaret—roasts, toasts, songs and celebration, and a little room for luck. June 13, 2026. If you’re reading this, you’re already part of it and helped us grow as one—the couches, the calls, the meals, the countless laughter and so much love. Bring your blessing; we’ll bring the feast. And if a ladybug lands on you that night, make the wish. We’ve learned those little signals know exactly where they’re going.


Arthur and I had a running joke about crochet shorts, so I made him a pair. He is also a Peanuts fan, so he was gifted a Snoopy amigurumi. 


OK, enough backstory.

Carla picked me up in Lancaster,  and we drove to NYC on Thursday June 4 2026. That evening I had a PRIMO seat to see her in Turandot at the Metropolitan Opera (she saw me in the audience, and I wiggled my fingers at her - DISCRETELY!). I had seen her perform many times before, but never  on the Met stage. I've seen other operas at the Met which are always outstanding, but this was by far the most elaborate production I have ever seen. 



Hair Salon on Friday, flew out Saturday to Fresno CA, exactly a week before the wedding. 

I neared my destination and was overwhelmed by the landscape of Central Valley from the air. The local who had the window seat switched with me so I could view the vast landscape. This is the agricultural heart of California, producing more than half the fruits, vegetables, and nuts grown in the United States in more than 7,000,000 acres. It was like flying over a patchwork quilt as far as the eye can see



Although I didn't  make it to the coast, I did visit Sequoia National Forest. I had no idea the giant trees were at the top of a mountain. They were so impressive that I decided I want o be a tree in Perpetua: tranquil, peaceful, lots of friends, visits by occasional hikers or tourists and maybe lovers who carve their initials on me with a heart and arrow.


Carla made gift baskets for everyone and included towels, personal items and citrus spa soaps I made for the occasion.


The wedding weekend began with a meet-and-greet of the soon-to-be merged families Thursday at Crawdaddy's in Visalia. Arthur's family is great fun, and we bonded even though we live far apart. I  hope to reunite with them again soon. As we left, a band downstairs was playing Cajun music, and and in the thrill of the moment, a complete stranger pulled me onto the dance floor to dance. It was electric.

The Welcome Cabaret was held Friday evening, starting with Paella served by chef Watson at his home in Visalia CA. Guests were treated to a red carpet, tickets and bar serving unique cocktails. We were entertained with speeches, dialogues and performances poolside. Most of Carla's friends are performers, so it was quite an entertaining evening. 

And they took the plunge!



Saturday morning was hair and make-up, no sleeping in! When I was done, my hair was immovable with product overload to insure hairs wouldn't fall out during that day...or ever..

At the Victorian Gardens of Two Sisters, harp and dulcimer music greeted guests as they came in, speeches, dialogues...Music...of course, more beautiful music. 

Perfect ceremony, some traditional but not all. Something old (continuity), something new (bright future), something borrowed (borrowed happiness), something blue (fidelity), wedding dress shopping, exchanging rings melded from relatives' keepsakes. Her grandparents were there in spirit as I wore a vintage gold locket containing their pictures. 


hand fasting


There was no cake (smashing), no throwing the bouquet (it was gifted to me to preserve), no blue garter, no drunken speeches, no candy table (Polish tradition). The reception was held in a garden setting with cocktails served in vintage teacups. 



and a pickle juice fountain, tribute to her pickle-loving sister Nina



                                       
Their wedding dance was as non-traditional as it gets. 
perfect...


   Pacific coast. Next time...

>


Monday, June 01, 2026

Guidance

In a few weeks, my younger daughter is getting married, and I will be walking with her as she greets her future with Arthur.  

I've been asked to give a welcome speech and toast. It will be brief. I'll share a memory or 2 of her growing up, welcome a son into the fold, thank the stars for bringing them together and everyone who came to celebrate. I will also say that the universal advice given to newlyweds, "never go to sleep angry", is total BS. What? Up all night? Foolish! Of course you'll have angry nights, but you'll likely have a fresh perspective in the morning after a good night's sleep. And at least you can go to work well rested.

As hard as it will be without emotion, I will also beseach them not to make any crucial decisions impulsively. Ponder it, sleep on it, try to imagine the long term effects,and you'll come to the right conclusion. It's too late for me, I've never to recovered, but  Carla and Arthur have made the right decision to guide their life. I wish them a lifetime of happiness and fun and don't want them to screw it up.

 It has been a long road for her, full of stops and starts, but I told her love can appear spontaneously. Their story is unusual. They met at the beginning of the 2020 Pandemic, isolating together in a small cabin on the coast of Maine, and when they eventually returned to the city, I assumed they would go their separate ways. But no, they began dating, reversing norms while finding each other. 


Their story is perfectly retold on their wedding site.

Our Story

First comes a pandemic, then comes marriage

Once upon a time, an opera singer and an actor performed on the same Metropolitan Opera stage (literally crossing paths) but had never met ..until.. They swiped right. March 10, 2020. Our First date: Cornerstone Karaoke. NYC. We had no idea what was coming. Most couples ease their way toward living together. We did it in reverse. Only days after meeting, we grabbed masks and sanitation wipes from a friend, loaded the car, and headed North before the city shut down. A tiny cabin on the coast of Maine became our first home. We cooked — her family dishes, his family dishes, whatever we could dream up. We sang and danced and clowned around to ease our worries and comfort each other in the midst of great uncertainty. In doing so, we learned how to be a team. In a time of great darkness, we found light and hope in each other. We were very lucky. Ladybug luck refers to the widespread belief that ladybugs are symbols of good fortune, happiness, and love. The cabin was full of them and on the first evening one had landed on Arthur so, naturally, he made a wish. Inspired by our tiny roommates, we made a short film called Ladybug. In the final scene, she walks into the ocean and is spit back out. That felt true: when the world closed, we made a smaller one that opened - a world in which we are stronger together. We found a creed that still fits: “Nothing’s going to be OK, but together we’re going to be OK.” Not cynicism - steadiness - together. For 3 months, we embraced the simplicity of our cabin life; when the city reopened, we brought our bubble back to the world—meeting each other’s friends, families, and places. Honeymoon first, dating later. Living in reverse revealed that we could depend on each other and find steadiness no matter what life threw at us. Our first year together was full of life's surprises. With all the beautiful and good came equally hard times: a car fire in Spring 2021, a health scare and diagnosis that Fall, and the loss of Carla's parent Shelly soon after. Yet even with each misfortune, we found great fortune, trust in our creed and undeniable support from our loved ones who lifted us up throughout. Again and again, someone—friend, stranger, fate—showed up right on time to remind us that we were going to be OK, and we've believed and trusted in it ever since. With such abundant love we would be more than ok. The rest grew naturally and our love spawned effortlessly. We remained curious, open and kept making memories—some on stages, some in kitchens, some on epic drives under big skies. We fed people often - Carla loves to host a dinner party! We learned patience on long days, humor on short ones, and how to keep choosing each other in the in-between. Our lives were as rich as our love and the love around us. For his 40th birthday, Carla threw Arthur a surprise Roast & Toast Cabaret surrounded by family and friends. And in true Arthur fashion and flair, he reversed the surprise and proposed with the ring he was already wearing—a little theater band with the comedy and tragedy masks. A year later, on her birthday Carla felt it only appropriate to return the proposal. Two performers, one duet, and with equal hearts - one vow: We choose each other—and then we choose again. Now we’re making official what we’ve practiced since Maine. We found a garden with California light, asked our friend Wade to stand with us, and our friends and our family to surround us. We have planned a night-before cabaret—roasts, toasts, songs and celebration, and a little room for luck. June 13, 2026.

Thursday, May 28, 2026

Once Upon A Forest


 

Thursday, May 14, 2026

Purge

 I was browsing for photos for another blog post, as well as pictures of my daughter for a wedding collage but was easily distracted by photos of purges over the years to travel, move, simplify. Every time, I asked myself if either child would want this and if the answer was NO, out the door it went - sold, donated or trashed. I hope I've made their life simpler after my passing, leaving only cherished belongings or items easily disposed of. 

This is a random collection of past purges and remembrance of the excesses that once defined me. There are times when, yes, I wish I had certain things, especially books, but the really important stuff, photos, my parents' woodworking items, handmade quilts, children's toys and clothes, are still with me or in storage. 

I remember with fondness as I look over these pictures...some items remind me of a place, event, a time in my life.

What a jumble of possessions. Everyone has them. 





                                                         I'll never skate again.

          










































  
I live simply now, but I have a weakness for kitchen toys. Another time!

                                                          It's beyond freeing to let go...

Monday, April 27, 2026

dream

I wrote the lyrics for the restless hearts. The truth isn't in the rules they gave us, it's in the things we find when we dare to get lost. (Kelly Boesch)


Sunday, April 26, 2026

Making Plans!

I'm actually making plans. Hooray for me! I just finished my last iron infusion for anemia, and it's working! I no longer dread, well, everything, like leaving my bed to perform mundane chores, even eating. My to-do list includes hanging up my lace curtains and pretty them up with dried vines and flowers, make yogurt, re-pot new herbs that didn't survive the winter and basic spring cleaning. So basically, I'm starting over.

I've also taken a leap of faith for the first time in years. Throwing caution to the wind, I bought 4 tickets to see Alabama Shakes and Mavis Staples at Bethel Woods (Woodstock) on Sept 4 with front center seats, the best in the house. I'll go with Extraordinary people or alone and sell any unused tickets. Be my guest. I have all summer to figure it out. 

It would be nice to take the rig to the  RV park, but it was repossessed a few years back. Since I'd like to stay a few days, perhaps I can find a nice VRBO  



Saturday, March 28, 2026

Moveable Cottage


 

Friday, March 20, 2026

Random

I recently began writing more often, sometimes because I'm bored, but also because it's therapeutic. I've been recovering from some procedure or other for the past few years and have lost interest or ability in most activities I used to enjoy. I continue write 'til the wee hours, totally relaxed, listening to music of all sorts, lost in thought. Sometimes I share on Facebook in the moment, but next morning, 1st thing... "O lordy, what did you post last night?" Delete.


I play games or watch YouTube videos and only do what's absolutely necessary. I don't watch much TV, but when I do, it's a travel or culinary channel. I manage to keep most appointments but often reschedule.  I look forward to empty days, but once I'm out, I'm fine. It's like prying me out of a packed sardine can. 

The Dreams. Recently, I get flashbacks during the day of dreams which I usually forget within hours. I see them often, repeatedly and weeks later. Often it's visual, just a flash of a moment or location, or an emotion, but I remember them, and they keep coming back. I have quite a collection now. odd

I also had another Visitation Dream, the 2nd in the past year. This wasn't as vivid, but there was a presence. I don't believe it, but perhaps there's something on the other side. hope.  AI: "Unlike regular dreams that feel foggy or fragmented, visitation dreams possess remarkable clarity and coherence. The experience unfolds with a crystal-clear quality, each moment vivid, purposeful and feels  tangible, as though you were truly present. There's often a clear storyline, unlike the scattered nature of typical dreams. This clarity reflects the sacred nature of these encounters and their vividness of these dreams makes them easy to recall in detail, even years later".

Although I hold onto these dreams, memories in general are totally useless. "take comfort in your memories". No, never. Longing overpowers all. I have vivid memories of past loves, lives, travels, kids but take no comfort in them and tear up when I'm alone or driving. I make vague attempts to be useful, but general chores, even watering my plants  (actually 1 plant) is a chore. 


I always fancied myself a country woman. All my life, no matter where I lived, small town, country, on the road or big city, I valued a life of self-sufficiency, not buying into the life of fast food, prepared meals, pre-made everything, processed edibles. Oh I've broken that rule more times than I'd like to admit, but keep trying.

I love baking bread...


hanging out laundry



making soap



gardening fail...rocks




canning the fall harvest 


living off-grid 




I have so many places I want to explore, making the most of the unknown time I have left, but I'm too timid to leave the house alone unless I have to. I find it impossible to visit a shop I've never been to or eat alone at a restaurant, even a diner, so drive-thru is the only option for now. I bought new hiking boots and trekking poles. The Little Conestoga Creek in literally in my back yard, but I've never walked back there, even after almost 4 years! Last fall, full of hope, I bought new clothes, shoes, a renewing, but they're mostly in my closet, unworn. I have never been alone and hate it. I'm such a chatterbox, love to share when out and about. Otherwise, why bother?

I manage to go to PT or MAG (Medically Adaptive Gym) a couple times a week, unless I oversleep or find some other excuse not to go, but I keep medical appointments most of the time. Although I've fixed my joints and back, I'm now dealing with anemia, low iron, vitamin D and B12, so there's that. With treatment of iron infusions and vitamins, I'll break away from this lethargy and be good to go soon. Physically, I'm all fixed.

My sewing days are over, so I'm selling my vintage Singer Slant Needle sewing machine and cabinet. It has a gaggle of attachments including button-holer, pleater, ruffler and more. It belonged to my Aunt Ann, who was an excellent tailor, making most of her own dresses and coats that looked like fine designer clothes. I'll keep a smaller portable Brother quilting machine. 

 


As I write this, Benny and the Jets plays, the iconic song blasted through a window at Kiester Rd Apts in Slippery Rock the summer of 1973. Dancing in the streets, joy everywhere.


Random: I counted 22 friends on Facebook who are no longer with us. Is this sounding dreadful? It is...

In a few months, I'll be navigating to California to support Carla and her fiancĂ© in marriage June 13, 2026 in Visalia CA. In other words, I'm walking her down the aisle but not "giving" her away. During that time, I'll be out of my comfort zone, but I've never been to the west coast or seen the Pacific, so I'll manage. 

Why California? When we first moved to NYC Gateway Towers, Manhattan NY, we met Wade and Laura, and Carla was hired to nanny their 2 small children when she was 15. They have been lifelong friends ever since. They sublet their Manhattan apartment, bought a house in Visalia CA and offered to host wedding festivities. After looking at venues nearby, she decided to take them up on their offer. I'm nervous as a whore in church to leave my comfort zone, but excited to send her off in into a magical future. That's all folks, til we meet again.

l








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