In a few weeks, my younger daughter is getting married, and I will be walking with her as she greets her future with Arthur.
I've been asked to give a welcome speech and toast. It will be brief. I'll share a memory or 2 of her growing up, welcome a son into the fold, thank the stars for bringing them together and everyone who came to celebrate. I will also say that the universal advice given to newlyweds, "never go to sleep angry", is total BS. What? Up all night? Foolish! Of course you'll have angry nights, but you'll likely have a fresh perspective in the morning after a good night's sleep. And at least you can go to work well rested.
As hard as it will be without emotion, I will also beseach them not to make any crucial decisions impulsively. Ponder it, sleep on it, try to imagine the long term effects,and you'll come to the right conclusion. It's too late for me, I've never to recovered, but Carla and Arthur have made the right decision to guide their life. I wish them a lifetime of happiness and fun and don't want them to screw it up.
It has been a long road for her, full of stops and starts, but I told her love can appear spontaneously. Their story is unusual. They met at the beginning of the 2020 Pandemic, isolating together in a small cabin on the coast of Maine, and when they eventually returned to the city, I assumed they would go their separate ways. But no, they began dating, reversing norms while finding each other.
Their story is perfectly retold on their wedding site.
Our Story
First comes a pandemic, then comes marriage
Once upon a time, an opera singer and an actor performed on the same Metropolitan Opera stage
(literally crossing paths) but had never met
..until..
They swiped right.
March 10, 2020.
Our First date: Cornerstone Karaoke. NYC.
We had no idea what was coming.
Most couples ease their way toward living together.
We did it in reverse.
Only days after meeting, we grabbed masks and sanitation wipes from a friend, loaded the car, and headed North before the city shut down. A tiny cabin on the coast of Maine became our first home. We cooked — her family dishes, his family dishes, whatever we could dream up. We sang and danced and clowned around to ease our worries and comfort each other in the midst of great uncertainty. In doing so, we learned how to be a team. In a time of great darkness, we found light and hope in each other. We were very lucky.
Ladybug luck refers to the widespread belief that ladybugs are symbols of good fortune, happiness, and love. The cabin was full of them and on the first evening one had landed on Arthur so, naturally, he made a wish. Inspired by our tiny roommates, we made a short film called Ladybug. In the final scene, she walks into the ocean and is spit back out. That felt true: when the world closed, we made a smaller one that opened
- a world in which we are stronger together.
We found a creed that still fits:
“Nothing’s going to be OK, but together we’re going to be OK.”
Not cynicism - steadiness - together.
For 3 months, we embraced the simplicity of our cabin life; when the city reopened, we brought our bubble back to the world—meeting each other’s friends, families, and places. Honeymoon first, dating later. Living in reverse revealed that we could depend on each other and find steadiness no matter what life threw at us.
Our first year together was full of life's surprises. With all the beautiful and good came equally hard times: a car fire in Spring 2021, a health scare and diagnosis that Fall, and the loss of Carla's parent Shelly soon after. Yet even with each misfortune, we found great fortune, trust in our creed and undeniable support from our loved ones who lifted us up throughout. Again and again, someone—friend, stranger, fate—showed up right on time to remind us that we were going to be OK, and we've believed and trusted in it ever since. With such abundant love we would be more than ok.
The rest grew naturally and our love spawned effortlessly. We remained curious, open and kept making memories—some on stages, some in kitchens, some on epic drives under big skies. We fed people often - Carla loves to host a dinner party! We learned patience on long days, humor on short ones, and how to keep choosing each other in the in-between. Our lives were as rich as our love and the love around us.
For his 40th birthday, Carla threw Arthur a surprise Roast & Toast Cabaret surrounded by family and friends. And in true Arthur fashion and flair, he reversed the surprise and proposed with the ring he was already wearing—a little theater band with the comedy and tragedy masks. A year later, on her birthday Carla felt it only appropriate to return the proposal. Two performers, one duet, and with equal hearts - one vow:
We choose each other—and then we choose again.
Now we’re making official what we’ve practiced since Maine. We found a garden with California light, asked our friend Wade to stand with us, and our friends and our family to surround us.
We have planned a night-before cabaret—roasts, toasts, songs and celebration, and a little room for luck.
June 13, 2026.
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